Helping With Reading: How to Ease the Mental Load of Supporting Learning at Home

How mums can ease the cognitive load and support learning at home without burning out

The Invisible Weight We’re Carrying

According to a 2024 study by the Education Endowment Foundation, over 62% of parents report feeling overwhelmed when supporting their child’s learning at home, especially when it comes to reading and writing. It’s not just about finding time; it’s the mental gymnastics of juggling everything else - work, meals, emotions, routines, and still trying to help your child sound out “sh,” “ch,” or “igh” after tea.

If you’ve ever felt a pang of guilt because your child is struggling with reading or phonics, or sat through a sound blending game while mentally planning dinner, emails, and how to handle tomorrow’s meltdown, this post is for you.

I’m Del, a phonics teacher, early literacy specialist, and mum. I created The Little Reading Nest because even with all my training, I found motherhood to be a shock to the system. And when it came time to support my daughter with early reading, I realised just how much pressure modern mums carry.

This blog post is here to ease that pressure.

We’ll explore:

• Why the mental load of helping with reading is so heavy
  
• The hidden cognitive load mums face
• Practical ways to reduce guilt while still supporting learning
  
• Gentle tools like The Little Reading Reset and Phonics at Home Curriculum that work around real life (not despite it)
• I'm also teaming up with Kim from Craftly, whose work supports emotional literacy in children, because helping our kids doesn’t have to come at the cost of our mental health.

Let’s unpack it all, together.

What Do We Mean by ‘Mental Load’ and ‘Cognitive Load’?

We hear these terms often, but what do they actually mean in a home learning context?

Mental load refers to the ongoing, invisible task management mums often carry: remembering when PE kit day is, noticing the dwindling toothpaste, planning meals, booking doctor appointments, and yes, making time for phonics.

Cognitive load, on the other hand, is about how much information your brain is trying to process at one time. It’s why sitting down to help with reading can feel mentally exhausting - not just for your child, but for you too.

Now add the emotional load of worry:

“Is she behind?”
“Should I be doing more?”
“Am I failing her?”

When your child finds reading hard, it can feel like a reflection on you. But here’s the truth: struggling with reading or writing is not a reflection of your parenting. 

You are not failing. You are carrying too much. And that can be changed with compassion.

Why Supporting Learning at Home Feels So Heavy

Here’s the thing: no one warned us how much early literacy support would fall on our shoulders.

Even if your child has wonderful teachers, school alone isn’t always enough, especially if your child is struggling to blend sounds, form letters, or remember tricky words.

But helping your child doesn’t just take time. It takes mental space.

You’re not just reading a book together. You’re also:

• Noticing they’re skipping words
  
  
• Deciding whether to correct it
  
  
• Trying to stay calm when they guess instead of blending
  
  
• Wondering if this is a “bad day” or something deeper
  
  
• Remembering what their teacher said about digraphs
  
  

This multitasking (emotionally and cognitively) is exhausting. Children aren’t the only ones with feelings. Mums need space to feel, too.

And space is something many of us don’t have enough of when we need it.

3 Ways to Lighten the Load Without Letting Go of Learning

Let’s take some pressure off. Here are three compassionate, doable ways to support your child’s literacy at home without carrying the full weight alone.

1. Use Micro-Moments, Not Marathons

You don’t need an hour of dedicated “learning time.”
You need 5 minutes at the right time, built into the day.

That’s the heart of The Little Reading Reset - my free guide for overwhelmed mums who want to support their child without adding to the chaos. You’ll find 5 simple ways to fit reading, writing and phonics into everyday routines like:

• Stirring pasta while practising sounds
  
  
• Singing tricky words in the bath
  
  
• Asking your child to write the shopping list
  
  

Because learning doesn’t only happen at the kitchen table. It happens at the kitchen sink, on the school run, and in between building Lego towers.

Try this now:
Ask your child to find 3 objects at dinner that start with today’s sound. (“Can you pass me something that starts with ‘t’?”)

2. Swap Guilt for Gentle Curiosity

When your child resists reading, instead of spiralling into self-blame, try asking:

• “What part felt tricky today?”
  
  
• “Do you want me to read the first word with you?”
  
  
• “Would it help if we played a game instead of reading the book right now?”
  
  

This shifts the energy from pressure to partnership.

We’re not aiming for perfection. We’re aiming for consistency, compassion, and small wins. That’s how confidence builds - yours and theirs.

Remember: Struggles aren’t signs of failure. They’re invitations to slow down and notice what your child (and you) need most.

3. Get Support That Works With Your Life

Not every mum wants to/can plan Pinterest-worthy activities.
Not every child thrives on worksheets or flashcards.

That’s why I created the Phonics at Home Curriculum—a multisensory, evidence-based programme designed for real families. You get:

• Step-by-step guidance (so you never feel lost)
  
  
• Fun, no-prep lessons that you can work around your schedule
  
  
• Interactive movement games so learning phonics feels fun!
  
  
• A calm, no-pressure approach that works even when your child is tired or fidgety
  
  

Because literacy support should feel empowering, not exhausting.

Real mum quote:

“I love that you guide the parent as well as the child…” - Louise, mum to Atlas

What About Your Mental Health?

This post isn’t just about your child. It’s about you, too.

When we constantly pour into our children’s emotional and educational development without refilling our own cup, something gives. Usually it’s our patience, self-esteem, or joy.

Kim from Craftly creates beautiful, calming visual tools that help both parents and children regulate emotions. Her resources are a gentle way to nurture your child’s emotional growth without adding to your to-do list.

And honestly? That’s the kind of support we need more of. Less hustle. More harmony.

Final Thoughts: You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

If your child is finding phonics hard, if reading time always ends in tears, or if you lie awake wondering if you're doing enough, you’re not alone.

You're doing your best, and your best is enough.

But you also deserve support that recognises your effort and meets you where you are.

Here’s where you can start:

👉 Download The Little Reading Reset – free support for busy mums who want to build learning into their day without burnout.
👉 Explore the Phonics at Home Curriculum – your step-by-step guide to your child becoming a confident reader and writer.
👉 Visit Craftly for calming, creative tools that nurture your child’s emotional wellbeing (and your own).

You don’t need to carry the entire mental load alone.

Let’s share it. Together.